Recap on this morning's message:
Peacemaking is NOT
-avoiding confrontations & conflicts
-appeasing others to avoid conflict
It is actively seeking to resolve the conflict.
Why be a peacemaker? Unresolved conflicts can be damaging in the following ways
1. blocks my fellowship with God
2. prevents answered prayers
3. hinders my happiness
How to be a peace maker?
Plan a peace conference
Empathize with the other person's feelings
Attack the problem not the person
Cooperate as much as possible
Emphasize reconciliation not resolution
MOST important is to invite Jesus into my life.
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Di: So how do you all find the message? I have something to share about this cos' during the past week, something happened at work. So the message this morning was like a check in my spirit.
What happened? My colleagues and I were discussing an administration problem . We were running out of time (to cover the syllabuses) and the both of them wanted to use a certain facility. As coordinator, I had to advise them. Suddenly one of them blew her top. She was really upset. We were surprised at her outburst. But when I thought more of it (people, this is me, ok? U need to give me time to think thro' certain things that u shared with me. I need to talk it over with the Holy Spirit first, or else it will always come up wrong and I usually end up hurting people...) i realized i was at fault for not being more sympathetic and supportive of her. I suspect that in the past months i had small unresolved conflicts with her. When a conflict takes place, she tends to give in to me partly because of her personality and also my seniority. So I guess this was the last straw for her.
Don't take me wrongly...At first, I was stubborn and indignant. My spirit man (spiritual man) told me clearly to make peace with her. But, no...."the old man" was indignant.....How can a mature person do this?..... *&^Y**&** (no I'm not swearing) but I was indignant. That night, I struggled with the Holy Spirit:
"You should go, hear her out and resolve this.....Vs But, but, but...... " I couldn't bring myself to sms her with a gentle reply (I thought it was too humbling for my big ego...) I prayed and prayed.....I looked over the problem, realised that it is an issue and decided to resolve the problem (who should use the facility?) by giving in to her suggestion but with certain conditions so that it is fair to the other person. I also decided to sacrifice something (my comfort and greater effort to accomodate her ) to show her I want to make peace.
The next day, I asked to see her and very professionally seeked to solve the problem. To some extent, it was. I wanted to say sorry (cos I was really sorry to have upset her) but we were in front of so many people. But later at a more private time, I apologized for hurting her. She explained that she wasn't feeling well lately ( The Holy Spirit had reminded me that the day before). She wanted to say more but instead she said forget about it. I think it is her personality not to confront.
So guess at my surprise when I heard the message. Looking back, I wanted to resolve the problem but not necessarily to reconcile (at least not consciously) with her. Now, I realize I need to reconcile with her. Our God is in the business of reconciliation; He came not just to pay for our sins (resolve the problem) but to reconcile with us (to make peace with us) so that we can experience His life. Jesus did not just die on the cross and say goodbye...you are on your own now.....c u all in heaven..... BUT He made His home in our hearts.
So I want that... I want to follow His footsteps.. I want LIFE to flow thro' my colleague's life and mine. Pray for me that there will be opportunities for healing and reconciliation in the week to come for her and me.
Please feel free to comment and add on.
P: Way to go, Di! u are one who seeks after our Father's heart. It takes courage and humility to initiate reconciliation and when we desire it, God will open the door! We are with you on this :)
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